I HATE YOU, THIRTY.

[bee_york]

SERIOUSLY, I HATE YOU SO MUCH. :(

I don't want to turn thirty, I reallly, really, really don't. I want to stay in my 20s forever.
I had no idea I would be THIS bothered by turning 30. I'm honestly kind of surprised.

And MEN are NOT allowed to tell me "it's not that bad". Guys don't have ANYWHERE as much pressure about turning 30 as women do. Women have it 2,123,903 times worse. Women are under EXTREME pressure to be (or at least appear) young. Men don't. Older men are respected far more than older women are. This is not news to us ladies, obviously, but apparently there's tons of men out there who are completely clueless as to how fucking priveleged they are. Women will *always* like older men. Older men will *always* be considered sexy. But older women? Forget it.
As a woman, you're constantly told by society to be young, young, young. Men will never understand that kind of pressure. Men have their own set of problems, absolutely. I wouldn't deny that for a second. And you guys all know, I LOVE men. I am not, nor ever could be, some kind of man-hating feminazi. Ugh, that is SO not me. ;) But when it comes to aging, women have it so much harder, and the only people I feel like I can bitch about getting older with are other women.

So ladies. Since I'm one of the youngest people amongst the awesome chicks on my f-list, I'll ask you: how did YOU deal with turning 30? How did you feel? What did you do?

(If turning 30 didn't bother you at all, I am sooooo jealous! ;_;)

Comments

[sourdick.livejournal.com]

it's not that bad

[bee-york.livejournal.com]

YOU'RE not that bad.

Er...or something. <3

[sultrysong.livejournal.com]

I didn't have any trouble with 30, though 31 hit me kind of hard. In June I'll be turning 40, and I'm horribly excited about it. I've been telling people I'm "nearly 40" for more than two years.

[bee-york.livejournal.com]

That's interesting that 31 hit you harder than 30. I guess I'll have to wait until next year to see how I feel!

That's AWESOME about 40 though. That you're excited about it, I mean. :) I heard that the 50s and 60s are supposed to be your best years. I'm hoping it's true!

[lucyskydiamonds.livejournal.com]

27 and already pretty freaked out about it. I try not to compare myself to my mother at 30, cause then I get filled with rage.

Instead, I'm going to use an LJ icon of me from when I was 21.

[bee-york.livejournal.com]

Why do you get angry if you compare yourself to your mother?

[margueriteyang.livejournal.com]

I just told myself that 30 is going to be what I make it to be. I also took a conscious decision that my age (as well as my gender, my race, my weight etc) wasn't going to be obstacles, no matter what society thinks.

[bee-york.livejournal.com]

Ahhhh, how I wish I had your discipline and maturity. T^T

One thing I *did* decide, however, a long time ago, is that I will never ever ever ever ever EVER use the evil shit that is Botox. I don't plan on covering up my wrinkles ever. They're like maps of experience, and that's one of the aspects of physical aging that I *don't* think is bad. :)

[margueriteyang.livejournal.com]

I hear ya sister! Botox just make people look worse anyway, I haven't seen anyone with Botox that looked better than beforehand!

Also to be honest, I had a semi-huge freakout when I turned 27. That's when I decided that I needed to bring some changes to my life so that I didn't freakout when I turned 30. It worked!

[bee-york.livejournal.com]

I have to admit, I AM happy with *where* I am in my life right now, in terms of accomplishments and all that stuff. I'm just concerned with the getting old part. ^^;

[obskura.livejournal.com]

You were at my 30th, when I did lazer tag, right?

I was NOT going to let turning 30 make me feel old. And quite honestly I don't feel old. Maybe it's because I still look 28 LOL. I hear you about the men liking younger girls though. The fact that my ex *really* liked younger girls *cough KC cough* was one of my biggest insecurities.

I think I actually felt crappier turning 28, since at the age I wasn't in a long term relationship, or had a degree, and by the time my mom was 28 she had 2 degrees and was married (twice).

[bee-york.livejournal.com]

Oh, I was definitely at your 30th! That was SO much fun, I remember. Oh gods. I got so wasted that night. XD

Maybe it's because I still look 28

Haha, you could pass for 22, honestly. Have you been carded lately? BEST. FEELING. EVERRR. I got carded this past summer and I wanted to jump the counter and blow the guy thank the guy for the flattery. Then I literally strutted out of there thinking, I still got it, oh yes baby! lol

[lostsailors.livejournal.com]

I hear you, so, so, so much. I am not quite 30 yet (28) but am literally starting to have a meltdown. I think it's because I wanted to be much further along with my life- and yet feel about as far along as I did when I was 16. I've noticed my body doing things that only "old bodies" do (wtf WHITE HAIR?!). I think I am also terrified because I don't know if I want to have kids, but I've always liked it being an option tilde out there tilde, but once you hit 30 it's like you kind of have to make up your mind. (Added pressure my mom hit menopause at 35.)

I don't know but I agree with everything you're saying. I have never been upset at birthdays, but I'm really stressed about this one coming up.

For what it's worth, my mom said her 30s was her best decade and couldn't hold a candle to her 20s.

[bee-york.livejournal.com]

I got my first white hair when I was 16! I was NOT amused. I'm noticing them here & there lately, but not like a HUGE amount, or any more than I had in my teenage years/early twenties, thankfully.
YET.

That's cool, what your mom said. It IS very good and reassuring to hear things like that. Thanks for sharing it. :)

[judeaslinksta.livejournal.com]

I could have no right to talk, since I'm 23, but I feel like once I turned 20, I was just done with worrying about growing older. I spent a lot of time as a teen thinking I might not make it to 20, so that was a reeaaaally hard birthday to have. Plus, the grey hair I've had since I was 9 has inured me already to people who ask how old I am and then go NO WAY, REALLY!?
That said, you're a foxy lady and turning 30 won't change that!

[bee-york.livejournal.com]

I was excited to turn 21, kind of indifferent about 24/25. When I actually TURNED 25, though, I was surprised to realize that I was now totally grown-up. (i.e., not a young adult anymore, or whatever.) I was kind of 'eh' about my late 20s, but now that thirty is finally here, it's like...what?! Already?! NO WAIT! Gimme another 2 years or so...lol

And, 'foxy lady'?! You make me blush! ;)

[xothia.livejournal.com]

I wasn't bothered by turning 30, but I think that was because no one made any sort of aknowledgement about it. I was more rejected than anything else. My (now ex-) bf decided to go on holiday for it, and put it on my head if I "needed him to stay in the city".

It was a miserable time, but not b/c of the age. So, you could be worse off :)

I think 35 was a bit startling, but again, I wasn't upset over it.

we'll see how 36 goes this year.

I think if you look at it this way, it'll be easier: Has ANYONE ever judged you on your age or your apparent age? Prolly not so much. Is this something you have ANY control over? No. Is your life changing? Not in a day.

It's easy to get caught up in what could be or might be, but what is is that things change so slowly throughout your life that you have time to adapt and to work with it or around it. It's a number, no biggie. Reality is tomorrow will be exactly like today and the day before.

You look young, but what if you didn't? It's all about how you handle life and love and other people. Older woman can call a lot of respect, if they command it through actions and attitude.

The only thing that older appearnce changes is people's immediate takes on you, but you are in control of every moment after. trust me.

It's the same as being pretty, ugly, sexy, flat, chesty... you will be judged. It's life. But how you handle it changes how people treat you.

Celebrate who you are at every stage! If you are comfortable in your skin, people will treat you with respect. :)

[bee-york.livejournal.com]

It's the same as being pretty, ugly, sexy, flat, chesty... you will be judged.

Hey! Damn good point. :D

Oh, I could be a LOT worse off. I'm very happy with where I am in life at thirty. I have accomplished a lot of things. I'm strictly sad about the getting old/appearance changing/place in society changing part. Also, I hate when people say that age is just a number, because it's not. My body is biologically 30 years old, which is a lot further long than it being 20 years old. I hate that we have to age!

[xothia.livejournal.com]

Yeah, but TURNING 30 changes nothing.

And you don't feel bad day to day abotu the changes, because they happen so slowly, you barely notice them. It's not all bad, anyways. I am WAY more confident in my looks now than when I was 20, or 25... despite a bit of a tummy and a couple wrinkles and grey hairzorz.

Celebrate your beauty! As soon as women find their inner beauty at older ages, men will follow.

In fact, I work at a tatoo shop with some pretty cute youngish boys, and it's the funny girls, the interesting ones, and the older, confident, attractive ladies that get the comments once they're gone. Cute GIRLS are a dime a dozen, but sexy and memorable come with confidence.

I'm not making this shit up. Of all the nasty talk, the WORST was after two 40-somethings (who were undeniably mature, and HOT) left. The hot young bods are forgotten in 5 minutes.

LOL boosted my confidence right up!!

[bee-york.livejournal.com]

Hahaha! Thanks for sharing, that IS quite nice to hear. XD

I'm happy to hear you're more confident now. I usually hear that you get more confident when you're older, which is a relief to know! ;) For me, it seems to be the opposite right now (the confidence I had in my early 20s has gotten munch weaker), but I assume that's just a temporary thing.

[xothia.livejournal.com]

Well, my confidence in myself and my appearance has increased over the years, and I expect it to continue to do so.

I am still baffled regarding my love life, but I don't see it as being due to any failing on my part, at least in the looks department ;) (See my most recent post)

So, yeah! Mature women can be very sexy... it's 100% about attitude!!

[sarcasmoqueen.livejournal.com]

I'm not going to lie - the year I turned 30 was not a good one. But it didn't have THAT much with the actual number 30 - it was what was going on in my life at the time - my ex and I were splitting up, and I was going through some major depression. I have a freind who continues to say that i split with my ex because I was turning 30. While that's not quite true, it sort of is - we had been having problems for some time, and I remember literally thinking to myself "I am nearly 30, and even if I die young, I will have another 30+ years with this man... can I live happily with him for another 30+ years??" the answer was a resounding NO.

Now that i'm 41, I look back on other ages and realize that 30 is nothing. Yes, you are 10 years older than 20, but quite frankly, I don't think many people are taken very seriously until they are somewhere in their 30's or more. The exception to this seems to be if you are an exceptionally successful 20-something, which, let's face it, most of us are not. Our 20's is when we start to find ourselves - get a degree, start a career, maybe find "the one", maybe start having some kids. But your 30's is when you have found it - you're established in your career, you know whether you want to have kids, if you're single, you know what you want in a man (or woman), and if you're taken, you know that the choice you made is what YOU want, not what society expects - and if it's what society expected of you and it doen't make you happy, you are strong enough to kick the man to the curb!
I honestly think that the best is yet to come... 30 seems very very young to me... mid thirties is where everything comes into place, and it continues (I hope) until somewhere in the 50's.

I honestly don't think that mentally I have changed much in the last say 15 years. the only shock to me every once in a while is when I meet a "kid" in their late teens or early twenties and realize that I am old enough to be their mom! LOL

[bee-york.livejournal.com]

Like everyone else, you make a lot of good points! :D I *love* it! And I agree, it's like your 20s is when you're trying to get everything together, and then your 30s is when you finally have those things (hopefully) and get to enjoy them!

<3