O life!

[bee_york]

SO MUCH has been going on lately. SO MUCH. I don't even know where to begin.
I keep meaning to post about work here, but I never do. Now it's built up to so much of a story...omg. On that subject though, I quit! If I had stuck around for another week, they would have made me sign a contract, which I didn't want. I didn't want to do that for SO. MANY. REASONS! Anyway, I really wasn't having a great time at that school, and I feel like a huge weight has been lifted. I still get EI until the end of June, so yay! I have NO idea what I'll do for the summer, but I'll cross that bridge when I get to it. Maybe I'll work in a cafe for a bit or something. :P Anyway, whatever! I'll figure it out.

The wedding. Ah, the wedding! So much planning. And drama. You can't avoid the drama, but you handle it the best you can. My perspective is that it's OUR wedding (meaning, me and Mike's) and OUR day, and no one else's. Certain family members have expressed dismay at certain apsects of our wedding, or the way we're doing things, to which I have no problem telling them toooooo bad. I've made a few compromises here and there, of course, to be civil, and there's certain things I don't mind changing to keep the peace. But overall, my stand is, if you don't like it, too bad, it's NOT your wedding. :) Teaching high school has changed me a LOT. For the better. I've become so much more assertive! What an important life skill to hone, no? <3

Comments

[rayefrenzy.livejournal.com]

what are people geting up in arms about? Like what wedding thing could someone really disagree so strongly about?

[bee-york.livejournal.com]

All kinds of things. For example, the amount of people we want to invite, the fact that we're not letting anyone bring their kids; those kinds of things.

[rayefrenzy.livejournal.com]

well, im glad you're compromising on some stuff, but mostly just saying that its your wedding and not theirs. people are so strange.

[bee-york.livejournal.com]

People most definitely are strange, I can't argue with you there. ;) I don't know why people think they can dictate what I do. Just the fact that it's going to a video game-themed wedding with Nintendo music and a Zelda cake, etc., should be enough to let them know that HELLS NO I ain't doing this the 'traditional' way! XD

[rayefrenzy.livejournal.com]

Ooohhh I love all your ideas. I cant wait till its executed and I can see pictures!

[bee-york.livejournal.com]

I knew you'd be able to appreciate the video games part! ;)

[judeaslinksta.livejournal.com]

omggggggg I could write a million blog posts about people wanting to get all involved in wedding planning and drama! Thankfully we were able to deal with it without any family fallouts or shiv fights, but it was close once or twice, seriously. You are 100% right, it is YOUR and MIKE'S wedding, and no one elses. Also, OMG I can't express how irritated I was whenever someone would tell me it was my wedding and ignore Gaelan totally. It was his day too, ffs, I wasn't going to do something if he didn't like it. People just seem to assume that bride = crazy lady who wants to be a princess and will ignore her fiance entirely. No, that's not how it works. We loved the end result and if no one else did, it wouldn't have mattered cause we had a blast!

[bee-york.livejournal.com]

Hahah! Ahhh, I figured you'd understand. ;) People are odd. They've had their wedddings (or they're eventually going to), and this one's ours.

And YES, people assume you're going to be crazy because you're a bride, as if it's some kind of given. I'm aggressive about a lot of things, but my wedding is not one of them. o.O;;

[judeaslinksta.livejournal.com]

People ARE odd. It's always weird to see what bothers some people over others. We also planned on having ours kid-free, and some people were really offended. Not the people with the kids though, others got offended on their behalf! It thankfully ended up being a non-issue, as their were only 3 couples/people on our list with kids under teenhood and none of them were able to make it anyhow. That was also the benefit of having so many people coming from out of town, we were able to pare down our guest list hugely by being like "oh, you can't travel the week before Christmas? ohhhhh....well, shucks." From the getgo we just consistently let people know our budget was tiny and we simply could not accomodate everyone's needs. If they complained, I asked them straight out if they'd pay for the extra, and only once did someone go "well, yes, actually" - my mum was planning on paying for a friend to come out who I hadn't originally planned on inviting, but she ended up not being able to make it anyhow, so hah. Have you had any parents asking for their friends to be on the guest list? That was a big one with my side, my dad is weird that way. He wanted to invite people I didn't even know, because it's somehow an honour to invite someone to your daughters wedding. Uh, excuse you, have your own wedding and invite who ever you want! My mum kept asking that I invite this one friend of hers who I've known since childhood and never liked very much and I was having none of that. This friend once tried to set me up with some dental student, very shortly after I started dating G. She also offered to buy me a fancy lipstick once like one she had, which was very pricy and came direct from France. She had by then known me about 14 years, and should have known I didn't/don't wear lipstick, ever!
Oh god I've totally hijacked my own comment with ranting. Ah, it feels good to get it off my chest though. 3 months later and I still get annoyed by pre-wedding drama! Although to be honest, as frustrating as a lot of it was, I would read posts on OBB's ranting forum and come away from it like, wow, my family is dysfunctional but at least they aren't batshit insane!

[bee-york.livejournal.com]

Omg that is such craziness! And don't you apologize for ranting; I LOVE to hear what you have to say about all of this, and about what happened to you and Gaelan when you tried to plan your wedding, since I'm going through the same thing right now, and the 2 of you went through it so recently. Also, the 2 of you are such calm, chill people--I can't even picture anyone trying to give you lovely folks a hard time! Graawh! Screw those guys! ;) lol

But yeah, I know EXACTLY what you mean about parents wanting to invite friends you've never even met. We've had a LOT of that BS going on here...that was actually one of the major problems from the beginning. And this whole "oh, we'll pay for them" is the stupidest thing to me, because really, it's not just about the $$! It's the fact that OMG I don't want all these people at my wedding! I want to keep it tiny, I don't give a flying fuck how much money you give me, because honestly, that's not the issue. I mean, damn straight you're paying for the extra guests, but that's just a given. It's not the point. I wanted to keep things smaaaaalllll.
Oh well. If these strangers think I'm going to give them the time of day at my wedding, they're going to be sadly mistaken. :) They ain't getting NOTHING more than a "thanks for coming" and that's pretty much it. I'm going to spend my wedding talking to my friends and CLOSE family members, AKA people I actually know and care about.

Whew! Oh yes, it feels good to rant about these things! ;)

[lostsailors.livejournal.com]

Being assertive IS such a good skill! It's hard to start doing too. I am a people-pleaser by nature and I always feel like such an asshole when I am like RAWR. NO. But it's really, really important to do otherwise people will walk all over you!

[bee-york.livejournal.com]

For sure! It took me a long time to figure out HOW to be assertive, and, very importantly, to be assertive without being a bitch. A lot of people forget that last part, and don't realize it makes ALL the difference. You don't want people to walk all over you, but you want people to respect you, too. You want to make it clear when you put your foot down, but you don't want to treat people like crap, either. It's a tough place to find, but I *think* I've got it figured out! ^^;