Jan. 18th, 2012

Here goes!

Jan. 18th, 2012 04:54 pm
bee_york: (Tron hugs!)
All right, so here we are...the first of my posts talking about my OCD. I'm leaving this unlocked so people in the OCD-related LJ communities I'm joined to can read this too; maybe it'll help them out. (Or maybe it can help any other random lurkers who want to know more about others with OCD, etc.)

Anyway! So! Where to start? I guess the basics is the best place, so OK! The basics!

OCD involves both obssessions and complusions. Some people have more 'visual' compulsions--for example, checking things in their house (did I leave the stove on? Did I lock the back door?) over and over again, or tapping things. I have lots of compulsions, but mental compulsions are the bane of my OCD, so no one ever sees me performing them.

My OCD centers around intrusive thoughts, i.e. thoughts I don't want to have. Everyone has unpleasant thoughts, which is normal--you have a shitty thought, and you go on with your day. But when I have a 'bad' thought, it scares the fuck outta me--I get scared that it's there because I thought it, because I want it to happen. Even though I *don't* want it to happen, I'm still scared that I might want it to happen, or might cause it to happen, simply because I thought it.

This gets looooong. )

I'm glad I'm finally writing about this. Thanks again & again to everyone who encouraged me to. You were all SO right. It IS a good thing to do!


bee_york: (Default)

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